Don't Look Back In Anger
by Love Affair With Distance
Summary: SS. So everything was perfect for the wedding of the year. Well maybe not all perfect, there was just one tiny thing wrong.


_**Don't Look Back In Anger**_

_**Disclaimer: We've covered this… I don't own it so let's just get over the fact that life dealt me bad hand and I don't own it and move on with our lives I know I have.**_

_** Just a oneshot that wouldn't go away, please read! Italics are flashbacks.  
**_

* * *

Everything was perfect. Just perfect. The flowers were in the right places. The dress was pristine, not a crease in it. The catering was all prepared. The bridal and groom parties were on opposite sides of the hotel. So everything was perfect for the wedding of the year. Well maybe not all perfect, there was just one tiny thing wrong.

Summer Roberts sat there on the morning of her wedding, her dress was on the other side of the room, and her shoes lay next to it. There was just one thing missing; her heart.

Mike was a nice guy, he had a small business, he owned a small bar that Summer happened to come across once. He loved Summer with all of his heart, but in Summer's eyes there was only one guy that she could love, and it wasn't the kind of love you have for your first love, you know the type of 'you never forget your first love' love, the kind of love were you never stop loving, and you can only see your future with that one and only person. Seth Cohen, yep, that was his name. And on the morning of her wedding and 4th anniversary with Mike, the only person running through her head, was, in fact, Seth Cohen.

Summer could remember the day, 5 ½ years ago like it was yesterday, the stupid mistakes they made, no wait, the stupid mistakes _she'd_ made. She'd been 20 at the time, barely just out of her teenage years, and Seth had proposed to her. The happiest day of her life, she didn't care how it happened, but she wanted that wedding more than anything, she may have still been young but she knew she wanted to spend her life with Seth Cohen, and become Mrs. Seth Cohen. She didn't care that her father didn't approve, she'd gotten over the fact that her dad wasn't going to approve of Seth fully, she didn't care that they weren't all that rich, all she cared about was being with him.

_The young girl couldn't have been much older than 20 when she entered, she wore a white wedding dress that looked like it cost a fortune – and it did, her soon to be mother and father-in-law had paid, but now it was all wasted – she sat on one of the bar stools opposite a man not much older than herself, he smirked at her and looked at her wedding dress._

"_What, never seen a girl come in, in a wedding dress?" She asked, in her true bitchy self._

"_Actually, no" the bartender said as he put down a shot glass, and filled it "You look like you could do with this." _

"_Thanks" she said, taking the shot and downing it, before slamming it back onto the bar, where she noticed the man eyeing her up, checking her out. _

Mike always wanted to bring up the first time they met, why she was wearing a wedding dress, who she'd left. But Summer just wanted to forget that day had ever happened, but Mike didn't seem to want to, because it was the day he met the love of his life. And every time she heard that, she'd cringe.

She had truly loved him, Seth that is, she'd loved him with all her heart, and if she could go back to that day, she would've changed it, not got nervous, not escaped, not ran away. She would always imagine how it had been for Seth, to stand up at that alter, a beaming smile upon his face, while her father came up and told him she wasn't there, she could almost see Seth's face fall at the news, and the smirk on her own fathers face. And every time she imagined it she hated the girl that had done that to him, but then she'd remember that it was her that had left him like that. Since that day she hadn't seen him. She couldn't face it, he could have a new girlfriend, a new wife, he could be lonely, but she didn't know.

For 5 ½ years she had had the same dream, never had it changed, never had it faded out, the dream – well more of a nightmare – had been the morning of her wedding day, the sweaty palms she had to keep rubbing on her dress, the nausea she had to keep rushing to the bathroom for, she was scared, and nervous, so she did what she knew best; she ran. And after the dream she would awake, sweat to her forward and she would be shaking, and not because it was cold.

"Summer" Her best friend, Alicia, called into her day-dreaming, Summer shook her head from her thoughts and looked to the comforting green eyes that her best friend occupied "We gotta go," she told her, putting a hand over Summer's hand. Summer nodded and moved towards the dress that she had been dreading to put on all night.

Summer had met Alicia in the first year of college, they were roommates and Summer had really needed a friend, with her boyfriend on the other side of the country and her best friend, well, dead, she'd needed Alicia, and over the years they'd grown close. Alicia was just a bit taller than Summer standing at about 5'5", her long jet black straight hair, her enticing green eyes, and her olive skin had just made her all the more beautiful. And Alicia had been there for her all through the first years of college, her first proposal, her first wedding, and also the aftermath too. And she knew that Summer wasn't all that certain on this wedding, and she'd tried talking to her, telling her to at least see Seth first before she went ahead with this wedding, but Summer was having none of it, she was determined to make this one work.

Summer moved into the en-suite bathroom, and rid herself of her sweats, she placed one foot into the dress and then the other, before fully pulling it up over her slim body, over the years she'd become more toned, she was a personal trainer, mostly for the Newpsies of Newport but sometimes she dealt with a few not quite celebrities yet.

The crème dress matched her Californian glow and made her look beautiful, just not as beautiful as that day.

_The white dress matched her glow, the glow from the sun, the glow from the relaxing weekend she'd just had, the glow from love. She smiled warmly at herself, and it was at that point, that she'd had her doubts, if the wedding had been an hour or two before, Summer Roberts would have been Summer Cohen. But over that one hour she had left till the wedding, was the longest one of her life; it was the hour she'd decided not to marry the love of her life._

_She didn't know why, you know when you have a limited amount of time to make a decision and when it comes to the crunch you make one rash decision? Well that's what Summer had done, but she only realised it was the wrong decision as she sat there in her wedding dress downing shots as the bartender flirted with her._

She closed her eyes, trying to rid herself of the thoughts from her first wedding, she stepped fully into the dress, fastening herself at the back and looking at herself in the mirror, it just wasn't the same. She sighed and moved back into her own bedroom where she knew she'd find a bunch of screaming girls.

But when she entered, she did find the hyenas, but she saw one woman stand out from the rest. One of the classiest woman she had ever met stood right in front of her. She glanced at her and noticed the permanent twinkle in the eye of the woman she'd looked up to since she was 16. Kirsten Cohen.

"Hi Summer" She said nervously with an awkward wave, she'd said it quietly, well it probably wasn't quietly but the girls around Summer were being too loud, they didn't even hear Kirsten.

"Kirsten," Summer said, a complete look of shock spreading over her face. "What are you doing here?"

"Well, I heard you were getting married, so I tried to get a hold of you, but, um, every time I rung it just went to voicemail, so I thought I'd come and see you before the big day, it's ok right? 'Cause if it's not I can go" Kirsten said, and Summer couldn't even help being reminded of Seth in that simple sentence.

"No, no, no, you're welcome" Summer said, now feeling self conscious, here she was stood in a white gown, her soon to be mother-in-law fussing over her while her ex-soon-to-be-mother-in-law stood in front of her.

"Well thanks sweetie, but I think I should be going, I mean, I just came and intruded and you're so busy, how about I give you my number and we can do lunch sometime?" Kirsten said, now obviously self-conscious herself.

"Well, um, if you have to go, ok, I'll call you, but can we, um talk?" Summer asked awkwardly and hinting that she didn't want to be near the girls that were now fiddling with her dress. Kirsten nodded and moved out of the hotel room, into the hall.

Summer stood there in her wedding dress, her back against the wall while Kirsten stood in the middle of the hallway looking everywhere but the young girl.

"So, I haven't seen you since…" Kirsten said, refusing any mention of the day that ruined her sons life, "Looks like you did really well for yourself"

Summer just nodded and continued to stare at her bare-feet.

"So who's the lucky guy?"

"His name is Mike," Summer replied, she closed her eyes, and wished herself to be somewhere else but here, like maybe the morning of her first wedding. "Look, Kirs- Mrs. Cohen, I'm so sorry, about, you know"

"Call me Kirsten, and there's no need to be sorry, I mean, well you could have been a tiny bit more discreet about it, instead of leaving Seth like that, but if your happy now, that's all I want, and all Seth wants" Kirsten said, mentioning Seth for the first time.

Summer nodded. She didn't know what to say.

"You two were so young, when Seth proposed, and I think he partly blames himself for it, but you've moved on now, and I think Seth will in due course, now I'm off honey, we should really do lunch, my number is the same as it used to be" Kirsten said, she quickly embraced the girl in a hug and then walked off, her purse on her shoulder, as she left Summer in wonderment of what could've been.

Summer entered the hotel room again, and leaned against the door, forgetting her friends were in there "Are you ok?" Mary, Mike's mom, asked her.

Summer nodded "Yeah I just have to get ready, so why don't you all start getting ready and I'll wait for the stylist?" Summer asked, hoping they would go; she really needed some time to herself.

"Sure" Alicia said to the rest of the group, coaxing them on "We'll go"

Summer nodded to Alicia, thanking her. Alicia nodded back and smiled at her. As they left Summer sank the floor, and tears rolled down her cheeks, she didn't even know why she was crying. She put her head in her hands and let herself just lose it, she sat there, crying hysterically, in a wedding dress, it all looked a bit bizarre.

Neil entered the hotel room, to see his daughter. But when he opened the door, it was blocked "Summer, honey, can you open the door" He heard a big sniff and he felt the force on the other side of the door disappear, he opened the door fully to see his daughter in the middle of the room, her dress outlining her body, but her face tear-stained and her eyes red. And he knew why.

He immeadiatly wrapped his arms around her, as she sobbed into his chest. "There, there" He said stroking her hair. After a while, she pulled back and sat at the table in the hotel room.

"Are you ok, pumpkin?" He asked as he sat opposite her and put his hand over hers. Summer looked to their hands and up to him. "I think I know what it's about" He said.

"Really?" Summer chocked out, with the lump in her throat she was finding it hard to talk or breathe.

"Yeah, you're having doubts about marrying Mike, it's alright to feel nervous" Her father said, she ripped her hands from his and looked at him.

"No, no, no, I'm not, I don't want to" She said; now standing.

"You're right, you don't, I know that – knew that, I just, I just don't want you to make the same mistake again, walking out on your wedding day" he said, now standing, Summer just stayed quiet and looked out of her hotel room, out onto the balcony "When you told me, that you were marrying Seth, I thought you were too young, I thought you deserved so much better, but when I saw the look on your face, every time he touched you, every time you looked at your engagement ring, I could just tell he was the one" Neil confessed, Summer just continued to look out of the window, not saying a word.

"Why, why didn't you tell me that, before I ran out, before I got engaged to Mike?" Summer asked, the lump in her throat decreasing.

"I, don't know," He told her honestly "But there is still ways to fix this" Summer looked at her dad and saw his raised eyebrows.

"No, I need to at least get through one wedding without running out" She moved towards the mirror and straightened the dress out, and wiped the tears away.

Her dad moved behind her and put a hand on her shoulder "Look, the first time, you were young, naïve, you didn't know what you where doing, but you love Seth it's obvious, and you can't walk down the aisle to some man you don't love and leave the one you do love." Her dad told her wisely, but Summer chose to ignore it and concentrated on the door that was now knocking.

"I'm fine, Dad, its just cold feet, now get out and I'll see you soon" Summer said, trying to put on a smile.

Her dad nodded, knowing he wasn't going to get through to her, and left the hotel room, passing the stylist as he did. He needed back up, and he knew just who to call.

* * *

Seth Cohen waited outside the extravagant looking hotel for his mother, she told him she had some business to take care of there, and that she needed a ride, so Seth, being the good son he was, offered her a lift there, but now she was taking forever. He had to get back to work before Diane let everyone leave early. Seth owned his own restaurant – surprise, surprise, it was a Thai restaurant – after he was left with loneliness for a life, and he had forced himself into building his empire. But with no one, or nothing, to come home to, he'd become a work-a-holic.

He tapped his steering wheel as he waited for his mom, he saw people enter the hotel, wearing dresses and suits; there must be some kind of wedding going on. Weddings. God he hated them, not that he had personally liked them in the first place, but being ditched at the alter kinda made you bitter towards weddings.

He continued tapping as the painful memories came back, he had truly thought that him and Summer were happy, and then the day of their wedding, he was greeted by Dr. Roberts stood at the end of the alter instead of Summer. And after that, he'd blamed himself, they were too young when he proposed, he pushed her away… all of them floating around his brain.

He finished his tapping as he saw his mother exit the hotel, she looked out of breath, like she'd been nervous or something, he shook his head and stared ahead of him as Kirsten got in the car.

"Ready?" He asked as he looked at her. She nodded and let a deep breath out, Seth looked at his mom weirdly "Is everything ok Mom, did you do the business stuff you were doing?"

"Yep, everything's fine, we should go now" Seth looked at her again, weirdly, and wondered why she wanted to get out of there so quick, he put the keys back into the ignition and looked around onto the road before he pulled out of the parking space.

Kirsten looked back to the hotel and closed her eyes, what had she done?

* * *

Neil sat in the hotel reception looking through Phone Books, looking for the name. He flicked through the books, throwing them to the side, when it became obvious they weren't going to be useful. When he finally reached the last one, he knew all his luck was up. He closed his eyes and put his head in his hands. Wondering what to do next. Then he realized.

He reached into his pocket and pulled his Cell Phone out and flipped it open, going through his phonebook, until he reached the number. He pressed the dial button and put it to his ear.

"Hello, Sandy Cohen" The voice answered on the other side of the piece.

"Hey, Sandy, It's Neil, Neil Roberts"

"Neil, what can I help you with?"

"Well…"

* * *

Summer looked at herself one final time in the mirror, it would only be so long before her dad came up to give her away, and her bridesmaids came up to follow. But her palms became sweaty, and she could feel nausea getting the best of her. This was just like her dream, only worse. She sat back in the chair and put her head back.

When all of a sudden there was knock on the door, Summer sighed and got up, here went nothing.

But as she opened the door, she was greeted with a face she didn't expect to see, someone that she hadn't seen in a while. Someone from her past.

"Summer," The voice said, with a sigh "What are you doing here?"

When she heard the voice, it was proof that it was actually him, and not her imagining it, why was he there though? Had he come to stop her? Had he come to go and tell her he loved her and couldn't be with anyone else? All these thought raced through her mind, but it was pretty obvious from the 'what are you doing here' that he was as clueless as she was.

"I could ask you the same thing, Seth," She told him, a little angrily.

Seth couldn't believe it, not only had his dad set him up – there was no way that him and Summer could end up in the same place without some kind of planning – but that after 5 or 6 years the first words to him were told angrily, as though she hated him.

"Look, ok, my dad just told me to meet him here, I must've got the wrong room" Seth said, he too, with an angry voice. Just seeing her there, with the wedding dress on, getting married to some other dude, was enough to make his blood boil.

He went to turn away when Summer grabbed his arm, pulling him into the hotel.

"Look, Summer what do you want?" He asked, his voice laced with pity "Do you want money? Do you want my clothes? Just tell me, you've taken everything else"

"I just, I just want to talk" Summer let out helplessly.

"We haven't talked in, like, 5 years, why would you want to now?" Seth asked, he really didn't want to get involved, in any shape of form, with Summer, he was only just starting to get back on track since that day.

_He stood up at the alter, everyone's eye on him, he felt a bead of sweat on his forehead, he reached up and wiped it off, and his palms were sweaty, he was nervous. But he knew as soon as he saw her, the girl he'd been in love with, forever, he'd be fine. He watched as everyone took their seats. And he saw as Ryan gave him a thumb up, reassuring him, and his dad wink at him. Yep, he was going to be fine._

_He watched as the Bridesmaid's came up the aisle, and waited to see her, her in her gorgeous – expensive – dress, her dad on her arm, and that beaming smile she seemed to be wearing since the fateful day just 6 months ago, when he proposed._

_But as time moved on, and no sign of Summer or her father, people started talking, quietly at first, but then it started getting louder and it was pretty obvious what they were talking about. _

"_Aww, poor Seth, Summer's left him at the alter, I always knew she would do that" _

"_Personally I think she's better off" _

"_Wow, this wedding must of cost a fortune for it to be wasted, luckily they're the richest family in Newport" _

_Stupid nosey Newpsies, Seth thought, he refused to believe that she had left him hanging like that, she wouldn't. Would she?_

_And his suspicions were only confirmed as he saw Neil Roberts at the end of the alter, his expression unreadable, without the familiar girl on his arm. As everyone heard his clumping feet they stopped their gossiping and turned to look at the plastic surgeon._

_When he knew he had everyone's attention he decided to speak, "She's not coming" He told them plainly, confirming everyone's doubts. _

_Seth immeadiatly walked passed Neil Roberts, not wanting to be in that room. He ran off as quick as he could, he didn't know where he was headed, he just knew he needed out of there. _

That night ran through Seth's head, he'd been on his own that whole day, when he should have been exchanging vows with the girl of his dreams, and celebrating with his family. And he'd spent that night alone when he should have been headed to his honeymoon with his new wife. And he'd spent every night since then, alone, when he should have been bickering and relaxing with his wife.

"I want, I want" Summer stuttered, she didn't know what was happening, she felt like she could faint at any second, she put a hand to her forehead.

"Well let me know when you've decided what you want, 'cause the whole world can't just stop because you can't figure out what you want, I need to go, see ya around Summer" Seth said, swallowing the lump in his throat, that felt like it would explode any minute

"Seth, wait"

"What for Summer? I have nothing left to wait for anymore" he said sadly.

"Please, Seth, I'm sorry" Summer pleaded, tears flowing freely.

"No, you don't get to waltz in and out of my life, telling me you're sorry, and expect everything to be cool" He raged, he didn't know what else to do, he couldn't show any hurt or any upset, he didn't want to seem weak, well he couldn't help but be weak, but Summer didn't get the privilege to see him weak, and what did they say? People only get angry when they get hurt, yeah that was it.

"Seth-" Summer started, only to be cut off by Seth.

"5 years, 5 fucking years, I've been on my own, but no, you seemed to move on easily, I, I, I just couldn't move on, and do you know how much it hurts to see you, sat there, in your wedding dress, of the actual wedding you're going to go through with," Seth asked, he leaned his body against the wall, feeling emotionally drained, but he needed this, they needed this, whether it be for closure or whatever they had. They needed it.

"I was scared" Summer said quietly, a few minutes after Seth's little outburst, she, too, was emotionally drained and had now found vacancy on the floor.

"Yeah, you didn't think I was?" Seth asked, he let his body slide down the wall, his knees propped to his chest, his chin rested in the space between both knees and his arms wrapped around his body.

"I was young, I was naïve, I didn't know what to do" Summer whispered, Seth could still hear it though.

"What a load of shit," Seth said, which caused Summer to snap her head up from the carpeting. "I was killing myself at that alter, at first I was nervous, I stressed out to Ryan that very same morning, telling him you weren't going to turn up, going through a million and one scenarios in my mind, and he reassured me, it's funny actually, after the wedding I refused to talk to him for a month or two, claiming him to be a liar, but I waited there and as time went on I had to listen to how you had a 'lucky escape' and all the Newpsies gossiping, and then I had to stand there and watch as your dad stood there and told the whole population of Newport, that you, had in fact, ditched me at the alter. And the best you can do for all that is tell me you were young and naïve?" Seth asked, he stared ahead of him, not looking at her, but her eyes bored into him, he could feel it.

"I, don't know what to say, I'm sorry"

"Well, sorry doesn't cut it, but don't worry I don't hate you, so go on, go along and marry him" He said, still staring ahead of him, he didn't even know who 'he' was, but there was definite bitterness when he'd said 'him'.

Summer swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat, and stood up. She checked in the mirror and noticed there was more make-up on her face than on her eyes, and wherever it was supposed to be. She quickly wiped it away and noticed the time. 10 minutes.

When Seth saw her starting to get ready, he sighed and leaned on the floor to help himself up. This was his closure. As he exited the hotel, he took one last long look at the girl of his dreams, his soul mate, his girl. And in a way that was his final goodbyes, that stare, his farewell.

Summer could feel his eyes on her, but chose to ignore it, she'd made the choice to say yes to Mike, and she had to follow through, no matter what.

Seth leaned against the door, sighing as tear's stung his eyes, he viciously wiped them away, no more tears for her, she didn't deserve them. She was obviously over him, and now he had his closure and had said his goodbye he could too. Maybe he just over-estimated her and their love, maybe it wasn't all there was out there for him, maybe she wasn't really his soul mate.

* * *

She walked steadily into the church; her legs didn't feel strong enough to carry her, yet she was still walking. She didn't notice the Silver BMW that waited outside with a familiar yet unrecognisable face sat in it.

He stared at her as she walked in, her head high, yet her legs giving away that she was not as emotionally there as she looked, he could tell these things, even without seeing, or knowing, her in nearly 6 years, he still knew every single detail.

She locked arms with her father, her bridesmaid ahead of her, and put one foot in front of the other as the bridal mach began that lead into the church. Second time lucky.

He got out of his car, and leaned on the bonnet for a few seconds pondering his options, he walked a few metres, before turning around and walking back to his car, changing his mind, then deciding again and trying to make his way into the back of the church, but changing his mind again, then finally deciding to approach the church, a little awkwardly, and locking his car behind him.

She locked eyes, with the man she was supposed to love honour and obey, if she couldn't do the first one – love him – then how could she do the two other things? Flashes from her first wedding flashed through her mind, one by one, the proposal, the big telling everyone, the dress shopping, the planning, the rehearsal dinner, the actual morning of the wedding, and how, when she was supposed to be celebrating marriage with her new husband, she'd found her way to a sleazy bar. And it was at that moment, when the beaming smile came from Mike, she knew what she had to do.

He walked into the church just to see her, standing there, the bridal march stopped, and everyone looking, gasping and, of course, gossiping.

"Ooh, she's doing it again"

"I always knew, ever since she was younger, she was going to be a man-eater"

Was what could be heard from the Newpsies.

She turned on her heel, hearing what the stuck up plastic women were saying and turned to walk, once again, to be greeted with the eyes that connected hers, the eyes that made her own twinkle.

But as soon as she saw them, they were gone, and all she saw was the back of his head, walking off. She had to stop him.

She quickly picked up the bottom of her dress and ran out after him, her hair falling out of place and flowing free and her feet becoming bare as she kicked off her shoes, hoping to run faster.

He knew she was coming, from the gasps in the crowd and the sound of her shoes clattering on the ground, but he didn't look willing to stop, he couldn't do it, he just couldn't. When he was 16 he would of done anything for Summer, regardless of how she treated him, but they weren't 16 anymore they were nearly 10 years older. And he couldn't forgive that easily anymore. So he kept on walking.

He reached his car and pulled out his keys from his jacket pocket, ignoring the sound of her behind him, he opened the car with the button on his keys and went to open the door before it was shut.

She shut the car door and turned him around, so he was up against the car, and instead of words, they weren't needed, she pressed her lips against his, pressing her sorrow into the kiss, apologizing with her hands, as they travelled the back of his neck, and hoping with her forehead as it pressed against his.

He didn't know what to do at first, first from shock of what she was actually doing, then from the bizarre sight they must of looked in, her in her wedding dress, with people flooding out the church to see her kissing someone else but the guy she was supposed to be marrying. But when he got into the kiss, lowering his hand to the small of her back and his other hand to cup her cheek, he knew this was how it was supposed to be.

As the kiss ended, it both left them breathless, so as their heartbeats slowed but fastened at the same time, and there breath caught but lost, they leant their foreheads together "You're forgiven" he breathed out, and that was the only words needed.

* * *

_**Ok, thanks for reading. Sorry for any mistakes or if it's complete crap; it's late and this hasn't been beta'd (So if you want to be a beta, then I need one!). So apologies if this isn't good, and you've just wasted like 10 minutes of your life. The idea was stuck in my head and didn't seem to want to go away. Sorry for the lack of updates on my stories, writers block sucks! Anyway, I hoped you enjoyed and if you want to, you can, you know, leave me a review! Oh and the title of the fic is from Oasis, but you probably already knew that anyway… Please review! **_


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